Fun Lokpal Bill

In order to prevent Cruelty and Atrocities Inflicted upon the ruling class, the government has decided to introduce ‘Fun Lokpal’ bill in the ongoing session of parliament.

While, the menace of Cruelty Against Rulers (CAR) has plagued mankind ever since man organized himself in society, its advent in India dates back to less than three hundred years. Historically CAR has not affected Indian Society to a great extent, owing to Indians intrinsically being more docile race and credulous beings. We, Indians, had culture of reverence towards rulers. This again seems logical from the fact that most of our Gods were from ruling class only. It is a matter of investigations that whether Gods took incarnation as rulers, or the rulers were elevated to Gods due to reverence of Indians.

CAR was perhaps the first instance of western influence on Indian society. Indians learned to be cruel against rulers as retaliation to their cruel acts on Indians. While we celebrate our martyrs, and they deserve to be celebrated too; we must acknowledge the fact that our martyrs inadvertently left behind the legacy of Cruelty Against Rulers.

During British rule, CAR took the form of direct and violent attacks on the ruling class to peaceful agitations leading to emotional atyachar on the hapless beings. Perpetrators of CAR invented many novel ways to harass unsuspecting victims of ruling class – they approached courts, they staged ‘Dharnas’ and Fasts, they took out candle marches, and many other such cruel and militant acts led to continuous unease and oppression for the ruling classes. Post-independence, there was a brief period when there were amicable relations between the ruling class and the masses. But soon the bonhomie between the two gave way to militancy on part of the masses. In aftermath of ‘emergency’ – a benevolent act of Late Mrs. Indira Gandhi to save the nation from complacent and peaceful existence – Mr. Jayprakash Narayan started ‘Navnirman’ agitation. And with that began another era of oppression of and atrocities against the ruling classes. Ruling classes, always being in minority, found few sympathizers in the nation; and was left to face the ire of masses without any support from judiciary or executive arm of the nation. While administration, defence, judiciary and executive arm did what lay in their power to facilitate ruling classes; their voice was often subdued in response to the chorus of so called intelligentsia and social activists.

The ruling class struggled hard to maintain decency in face of all the allegations, and continued its sacred work of managing national wealth as their personal assets. The ruling class harbored genuine fears of national wealth once again being plundered by foreign rulers (worried for the fact that liberalization may result in another East India Company!). This fears resulted in stashing away the billions, hidden from public glare, to Swiss and other banks. Such genuine and sacred act of protecting nation at the expense of personal integrity was projected as Corruption by self-styled guardians of morality. This was often used as the biggest weapon by populace misguided by the domineering and predatory instinct of its leaders.

The plight of the ruling classes was further intensified with the Right To Information Act. This act resulted in violation of the secrecy, and in information blackmail. This also necessitated continuous vigil on part of the ruling classes to ensure that no thread of evidence is left behind after working for the society so diligently and benevolently. They continuously lived through the nightmare of being exposed, whereas their intentions were pious and respectable. Also the public movement kept attracting youth, and many leaders from all walks of life, giving continuous headaches to the ruling classes. To further legalize all the intellectual violence perpetrated against the rulers, the demand for ‘Lokpal Bill’ was intensified. Rulers were once again pushed to wall, and had to consent to the public demand – though accepting only conditions that remotely affected the unbiased and unabashed working of the rule. The ruling class, in all earnest, tried to keep itself out of the purview of ‘Lokpal Bill’ so as to lend a sense of stability and continuity to the long held tradition of protecting nation from any unholy influence. But to its dismay, powered by the support of strongly prejudiced population – leaders of ‘Jan Lokpal’ bill staged another agitation taking people of India by storm, and fuelling hatred and loath towards the ruling class. The ruling class has been trying hard to lift the society above this politics of hatred, and lead it to the peaceful co-existence where neither party – rulers and masses – interfere in other’s affairs.

Even after making all the efforts to make people see reason, the government had to succumb and let go of its right to live freely. But as a last ditch effort to save the nation from malaise of its moral police, the government has introduced this ‘Fun Lokpal’ Bill. The bill aims to remedy all the ills of the society. It once again restores power to ruling classes, and once again gives us chance to elevate some future (or current) leader to the status of God.

Some of the salient features of Fun Lokpal Bill are –

• ·        It vests ‘Right To Imprison’ with the rulers – A rulers harassed by any ‘Right To Information’ activist can use this clause to imprison the activist. The modes of imprison can be a police custody, or even a personal custody.
• ·         It provides for the sovereign guarantee for the funds stashed by rulers anywhere in the world. In case of any litigation requiring the ruler to return the funds to society, it would be compensated by the national treasury. This clause also provides for a likely possibility of ‘National Treasury’ being incapable of fully compensating the loss. In such eventualities, the government will be required to borrow money from other countries, or can make payment through promissory notes guaranteeing payment at some later date. The promissory notes can be post dated up to 200 years (considered to be the period of 7 generations).
• ·         It vests power to forcibly end fast of a militant activist making demands of curtailing powers of the ruling class.
• ·         It aims to unite the ruling class by instituting a clause that any attack on a member of ruling class will be treated as the attack on the entire ruling class. (Though many members of ruling class feel this clause is unnecessary)
• ·         It requires the ‘Jan Lokpal’ to seek permission of the Prime Minister’ to proceed against the Prime Minister. Similarly it requires assent by the concerned judge before proceeding against him.
• ·         The law also gives 24-Hour immunity to the rulers from any form of legal action. This ensures that the ruler shall have 24 hours’ of time to set his house in order, to remove any trace of evidence of his acts. In extreme cases (extreme cases are defined as the cases affecting the Prime Minister or the central ministers), the immunity will be for 24 days.
• ·         The concerned person will be free to leave the country during the period of immunity.
• ·         In most unfortunate events when a member of ruling class is subjected to legal action, he shall be free to choose the jury of his choice without any prejudice to the outcome of the case.
• ·         The government will bear all the expenses related to such legal process as he may be subjected to.
• ·         In an innovative move, the bill includes a clause for witnesses – a witness testifying against the member of ruling class will serve the sentence of three years in rigorous imprisonment. This clause has been incorporated to ensure that only the most sincere of the so called social activists can dare to destabilize the nation.
• ·         The bill also provides for the postal stamps to be published in memory of all those rulers who have been victim of ‘Cruelty Against Rulers’.